Environmental Chaos

Lately I've been thinking

The environment around you surely affects you in one way or another

I've realized that given a situation to a person, say, myself, I would definitely act differently given the different environment and atmosphere

And I would say it applies to all human beings

It affects us even so when we are in our growing up stage

I still ponder about, what kind of environments generate the desired outcome

From my observations, some environments make things feel really competitive.

Some environments make you feel like you have to portray yourself excessively without even noticing it

Some environments feel very relaxed and very accepting

And even some, make people feel tense and they feel like even anything you could possibly say would sound wrong

And I really think that in order to grow the right way, we need to be in a positive atmosphere where everyone accepts one another

Without it, it would affect our mental growth

That started to make me think

What is the environment that I am mostly in?

I would say I am usually either in college or at home

In college, I usually hang out with the SC peeps

I don't usually see my Rotaract peeps often

Only once every two weeks or so

That explains why, I am more prone to be closer to SC peeps

In the house, nowadays I usually watch SNSD

haha... I am so addicted to them

But they are really talented girls and I always smile when I watch them

Only problem is sometimes they have haters, so yeah.

Other than that they brighten my day. So generally at home I have a pretty positive environment

And I am happy for that

Without a constant positive environment, we tend to stray from living the right principles in life

Even someone like myself often gets challenged by environment even when I have pretty sturdy morals and principles about life

It kind of makes you think, hey, maybe if I can control the environment I am in, then the outcome would also be in my control.

Yes. I need to be in control and merge with environment

Only by understanding the atmosphere, can I push it to the way I wish for it to be. Positive.

I hope to find a book about this. Then I can learn a lot more.

However, since I have yet to find something about this, I shall have to make my own observations and proceed from there.

A long time ago I learned about air pressure. Well, it seems that air is always exerting pressure onto our body

And from within our body, air is also pressing outwards

Which explains why, in outer space, our body will explode because the air inside of us pushes outwards due to the absence of air.

The key is balance. Without a balance all things will be destroyed. Our body, minds and soul and even this world requires balance.

And I think that if the environmental influence / aura is too strong, it pushes inwards onto our body

Which, in turn, in order to balance this, our internal thoughts / aura is suppressed.

On the other hand, if our internal body environment and thoughts are stronger, it will push outwards, and environmental influence will be suppressed, resulting in us being able to express ourselves easier

and be one with nature

However this is only my assumption. Things still need to be tested. I will hope to experiment for myself what happens when I strongly express my thoughts, to change the environment to make it within my control

There have been many times I have been unable to control the environment which I am in, resulting in me not being able to be myself, I feel like I am holding everything in. Not good.

So that is why I would like to learn, how to set the environment and atmosphere

I understand that this is very important and relates closely to human psychology.

I also feel that this has a lot to do with controlling your presence

With some method, you can actually suppress your presence, or even amplify it.

Probably with internal energy.

Your internal energy communicates with the external energy which is the environment

You have to feel it to understand it. I do not think that it is so easy to be explained in words

Learning how to control these... variables will aid greatly in putting situations under your control

and avoiding environmental chaos.

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Lately I tried a few experiments

The first one was that I made an event

To go out. I made it happen within 24 hours

I did it by expressing my views very strongly

And I did it with extra vigor and force.

I said we are definitely going to go. I did not doubt it

And we went.

The force was so overwhelmingly strong that others started to plan events as well

However, as of now, most of those events do not seem to be happening

At that moment, I controlled the environment

I made it such that having an 'event' was the in thing

I brought the momentum onto the table

It resonated and it made other people feel it, that momentum.

It drove them to create their events. It wasn't really the words I used, but the expression of those words, do you understand what I am trying to say?

However, when I stopped talking about it, after the event was over, the other events started to fall. They don't have that momentum anymore. It stopped. I was the cause of the momentum. And when it stopped, so did the other events

Only one event other than the one that I made is going to work out. Also partially because I encouraged it aahahaha.

That is one method of environment control.

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The other experiment

I expressed my views extremely strongly

Though it is not the most professional method to use, I did it nonetheless

Because I knew that the risks are low. I believe in them and in myself

I expressed my views about a certain topic which, was actually quite sensitive

And actually, most people would not object

But I made it into a big deal. And now everyone is concerned about it

This is important, because people did not realize that this topic is ACTUALLY that important to talk about.

That topic can cause a very huge misunderstanding and a lot of problems

So I did it. I became the fire-starter once more

The difference is because I am the fire-starter I have some control of where the results will be going

I can choose when to concede

I can choose when to push forward

I can choose when to stop

I can choose how deeply we need to discuss this matter

It is another method of environmental control which I am trying to experiment with.

And because there is so many layers of the organization, I can actually observe the different reactions and different views

It makes me feel in control of the situation

Even though it is risky

But look, I got nothing to lose. Except maybe some face? That's the most. But to me, a little face is worth losing, if I can learn how to control the environment.

Every interaction that I have gives me some experience and it makes me smarter, at least a little bit.

I feel like there is still more to learn about this, and I will continue experimenting

Until then, stay tuned :3

Goodnight, world =)

p.s. It seems the fire-starter methodology suits my aggressive nature very well ^_^