It's No Joke

We all know that the road to success is one filled with tons of lessons and hardships

It really isn't a joke at all.

Your emotions run wild. You feel like such a failure. You feel so useless.

It feels like all hope is lost.

Yes. That's what failure feels like.

And honestly, I feel a little like that right now.

Inside us is a wheel.

It constantly rotates.

At one point, you are at the top of the world.

Before you know it, you're back down at the bottom. Feeling a little miserable.

It's hard to go through failure, or to feel like you've failed someone, or even yourself.

Now I look at all those successful people and say..

"What did you guys really go through to get there?"

It must've been tough. But you guys, you guys pulled through.

You guys are amazing.

Can I be like you guys?

I ask that question, even though I know only I can answer it through my actions.

Sometimes you wonder, why do you work so hard?

Sometimes you wonder, why is it that you feel as if there is so much burden to carry?

Sometimes, sometimes... You just bottle up all emotions.

Until one day, you get so mad at yourself you just explode.

Other people around you are caught in the blast and are hurt.

It's really because we couldn't handle ourselves properly that we hurt ourselves as well as others.

It's hard to explain what I'm feeling right now.

To sum it up, I feel I can do a lot better than what I am now

But I don't know how. How? I just want an answer.

No answer comes.

What do I do? Just wait?

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Sometimes, sometimes.. I feel like a hypocrite too.

Honest to god.

I talk so much but do so little.

I still fail to do what I said I would do.

I no longer smile so much.

I no longer laugh so much.

It looks like a balanced life is really key to happiness.

I tend to overindulge in things, it makes you unhappy, you know, when you overindulge in something. Though at the moment you feel it's nice.

My two biggest weaknesses. Not doing what I said I would do.

And getting excited over an idea, and then not following it through to the end.

I hate it so much. Why can't I change?

I don't expect perfection but I do expect a lot more from myself.

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So after all, the person I was really angry with was myself, wasn't it?

Right now, I don't really know what to do.

But in life, there isn't a pause button. Life is always on play.

So what will I do now?

Sleep. That is what I will do.

The body needs rest. Perhaps I am over-thinking.

Tomorrow will be a new day.

That's why we shall start anew :)