I always wanted a Girlfriend

A longgggggg time ago, in my secondary years, I always wondered what it was like to have a girlfriend.

I thought that you need to be good looking to have a girlfriend.

Then I got to college. I saw that, it really isn't just about looks at all.

After that just recently I understood, that love is not the same as lust, though a bit of lust is good to spice up the relationship

But you know what?

I always did want a girlfriend.

Always. All this while. I want one so much that I'm not going to mess it up for sure.

I want my first girlfriend to be really special

I want her to really mean something to me

I want her to be someone really important to me

Someone I'll cherish forever

And I don't want to hurt anyone, in the process. I know that, if I just do trial and error, I will hurt a lot of girls that way.

And to avoid it, I started to learn how to control my feelings.

It is not easy, but what's even harder is hurting other people. So if all it takes is to control my feelings, its definitely possible.

People often would say that they want to get some experience in relationships

I don't want experience

I want to get married.

Love is the most important ingredient in anyone's life, and marriage is no exception.

I want to understand what love is all about. I still think that I haven't fully understood it yet.




Isn't it nice? I always felt it would be nice

To have someone pack lunch for you

To have someone to come home to

To have someone you can talk to about anything

To have someone you can spend time with talking silly things and laughing

To have someone you can lie down with and just look at the stars

I'll eat her home made lunch box, I'll come home and just can't wait to see her, I'll talk to her about all our problems, and laugh over silly things that don't make sense. I'll lie down and watch the stars with her.

I'll proudly tell my friends this is my girl. And so what if others laugh at the lunch box? It doesn't mean anything to them =)

I know it's not good to promise too many things, but I'll definitely do my best in the relationship, because I know relationships require effort.

I want that so badly. I want someone to take care of me when I'm not feeling well. And I'll do the same for her too.

Ahhhh... man... I'm crying now... How shameful....

It's just.... really lonely.. sometimes, and it's really painful.... Whatever I'm going through

Life is just... so hard sometimes

I feel really stupid.... I just don't understand myself....

...It's my own fault for being like this. I don't blame anyone for it

But I'm not weak... It was really good to cry.

I'll be, much stronger now, after letting it out. Things are going to be okay. Things are going to be okay.

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I know this, the time will come for me one day, it's not that far, it's just a few more years =)

I didn't know that I wanted to be loved so badly. It's okay, I can definitely wait for the right person to come by =)

That special someone is somewhere in the world right now. I'm just waiting for the day we meet each other one day =)

And when that day comes

I'll give my 100% into it.

I'll be a responsible boyfriend.

I'll make sure I am capable financially and mentally to take care of her, otherwise I simply don't deserve her.

I'll make sure I get to know her parents. I'll make sure I treat her parents with respect, as much as I do mine.

I'll do what it takes. To make it a great and wonderful relationship =)

That's my biggest dream.

That dream burns deep within me.... It's the greatest desire I have

So that's y I work hard from now, so that at that time I have spare time to spend with her. I know things will definitely pay off if I just keep focusing.

I'll also do my best to keep trying to understand women better, even though it's hard to understand them as a guy haha!

But I'll keep trying. Someday I can definitely understand.

Ahhh... I just cannot wait for that day that I meet her... I'm obsessed with it. It's like I love her already. But I can't guarantee that claim, because I don't fully understand what love is yet. Maybe just a portion =)

Hm, assignments waiting for me, I'll be off then. I feel better now haha....

Nitez peeps =)

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p.s. Faster come into my life la silly girl =)